I watched him walking through the town
catching all the people's stares
and could tell they looked not at the man,
but the clothes and long grey hair.

As he drew closer I caught the smell
of old dust and stale cigarettes.
His face wore a mask of sadness
and the weight of past regrets.

Walking slowly by, he glanced my way
and in his eyes was a need to weep.
I could tell this once had been a strong man,
but the wounds in his heart were deep.

There was an old worn string around his neck
holding a medal called a purple heart
and anger rose in me this country discarded
an old soldier like an old used part.

I stopped him to ask if he needed work
and offered the man a meal.
Refusing politely, said he had to move on
and I knew he would never heal.

Months have went by, but I think of this man
and pray that he walks with Godspeed,
but I know his shoulders are tired of the load
and the wounds in his heart still bleed.

Loud yet distant,
it penetrates the silence,
and the heavy dark.
and the Moon's reflected shafts
out glow the yellow contenders,
electricity has pitted against her.

The short
sharp
gutteral shout,
exploding out
into a confined space by the sill.

A second and then gone again...

The darkness alone seems constant
in this wakeful world of night,
though in a few hours it will be gone.

The sun will rise again
and spoil the silence with the day.

The heavy sky,
burdened with it's dark
pigment from distant space,
with its usual glitter
obscured by the great white ball,
that monthly likes to pay her visit.

Sometimes she is big,
brazen,
though only at mid-month,
or there abouts,
is she comfortable to bear her all,
to the sleazy streets.

She is better than them all-
they pay her nothing,
yet owe her everything.

Often in the month,
she performs a strange striptease,
showing herself part by part,
ready for her grand unfurling.

Yet after the act is finished,
as though unaware of protocol,
she slowly begins to cover herself up.

A temptation,
a flirt,
a cock-tease to her rapt audience,
who will stay for the next performance
to begin again
as it surely will.

Until then they shall have to make do
with the soft core porn of the stars,
attractive yet not satisfying their desire for the bigger picture.

The dirty,
filthy,
manipulated garish of the city streetlamps,
near and easy
to guide their restless way,
and illuminate those sleazy streets
as they run through
natures world.

There it is again,
that low gutteral bark,
in the midst of the cars chugging motors
and the banging of cab doors,
a natural noise rings out,
a repetition of that plaintative bark.
A single razor cry:
'Hey!'

Dear You,

The love of my life,
You are as sweet as can be,
I love you so much,
And you love me.
I think about you in the morning,
I dream of you at night.
You are my heart,
And you are my soul.
You are the arms that warm me,
When I'm cold.
I love being near you,
I love seeing your face.
The light in your eyes flickers,
At such an elegant pace.
Your eyes are clear and blue,
Like the water in the ocean.
Your hair is so soft and perfect,
Your body is distinct and built.
I love to caress your soft, tan skin.
Your touch is soothing to my soul.
I love you more than anything,
You take my breath away,
And give me yours.
When we kiss, you become the other half of me.
I love it when you hold me,
I love being your girl,
I love it when you say you miss me,
And tell me I'm your world.
I want to spend my life with you,
And live out my dreams with you.
We can do it if we try,
We could have everything we've ever wanted
Our dream jobs, children, a beautiful home...and my favorite part,
Sleep by each other every night,
Our hearts beating as one.
I will give you everything I have,
You are my life.
I love you.

Wind on my hair,
Sun on my face.
I'm looking at the sunset.
I am at the beach,
Feet in the sand,
Toes are getting wet.

The sky fades from clear blue,
To green,
Then pink,
Then purple.
The darker it becomes,
Stars begin to pop.

the sky is lit by them,
It is now a soft clear black.

All of this I watch,
As I lie on the beach
In the sand
On my back.

When you love someone so deep inside,
It seems like it's so easy to hide.
You've loved her for so very long,
You would think she could do no wrong.

Every day you would hope and pray,
That she would always stay this way.
She treated you like you should be treated,
You thought your life was finally completed.

You thought your love was growing true,
And then one day it was all so blue.
She started putting you down and it hurt,
You thought all you were to her was dirt.

She started ignoring you and you wondered why,
All you wanted to do was curl up and die.
You thought your relationship would never end,
But that was all so fake and pretend.

One night she was so sweet to you,
You thought all those things were maybe untrue,
Two days later she was back the same,
You thought you were the one to blame.

She thought the relationship was getting too serious
And that you had become a little too curious.
By this time you knew it wouldn't last,
All the nice things she said were in the past.

You thought that you would marry her some day,
But this time God wanted to get her way.
You wanted things back how they were before,
But you knew this couldn't happen anymore.

It was a Saturday night about ten o'clock,
You heard the news and it wasn't a shock.
You knew this was going to happen soon,
As you laid there and cried in the pale lit moon.

Though the table was round, no one sad at the head
Tab was the ruler of the kingdom, or so it is said
She was graceful and talented and had a kind heart
and to ask for comments in the shout box, wasn't too smart.
She was polite in her manner and would tell you so
"Ask again for those comments, your membership will go."

There were other's that sat at this table so dear
Katie, the poet of dark painful words to bare
She had trouble relating to love and such things
But you could tell in her heart, to love is to sing

Sir Drew always sat with a pen and paper in hand,
sitting at the pub observing his land
He wrote of the stapler, he wrote about love,
he wrote about everything at that pub!
He tried different words, he tried different styles
the writings he posted, could stretch for a mile.

Sir Madatoch what a wonderful Knight
To be with his true love, was his only plight
He created visions for all us to see
Of what a true love could really be
His comments were as sincere as his writes
He touched many souls with his wonderful sights.

Sir Paul, now what can I say about him
He's the rusty old knight, his armor made out of tin
He believes in the soul mate, his one and only love
The woman sent for him, straight from above.
He knows that she is out there, even knows her name
To him to protect her is no kind of game.

Sir Aliensoul or Sir Rob to me
Looking for the Lodestar to guide him to destiny
He was always a teacher, went out on the limb
teaching us to think outside the box, write on a whim
His heart was so vibrant, it was clear to see
He loved with compassion, his heart was so free.

I look at the round table, with history fading away
and I wonder with tears, what do these Knights do today.
Their words and their writes touch me in such ways
That I can sit and wonder, why didn't they stay.


(10/15/07)

In silence we sit,
never to be heard.

With our mouths unopened,
seemingly scared.

With nothing to say,
day after day
Armed with questions,
looking for answers.............,

still the words don't come.

How in life, you can take your chances
only to come too far, to ever come back...........,

I guess someone always ends up lost

Where do we go?, and what do we do?.
When you cant look at me, and I cant look at you.

Nothing to say, as we sit and exchange emotionless glances .
Thinking about, all those missed chances.
Thinking of what should have been.

When the end was coming, my eyes couldn't see

As time it passes me by, I'm the one left wondering why.

In silence we sat.

thank you, for being a box that fits me,
always op en, never lidded.
for ma king
ti me

since i on ly matter here.
t hank you
for readi ng my words and
believin g them,
for letting
m y
e ternity and heaven be yours. thank you for not knowing the
p lane of my face,the colour of my
voice, or my body, just
the contour
of my soul. thank you for
making me a start with
c ountless possibilities
t o an end
that will
someday make me whole.

Know it/Grow it

If we cannot accept each other- then how can we ever complain?
When we look back with malice at others and they look back to us just the same?
We’re judgemental- it’s instrumental in the loss of the faith that we had,
Condemning each other, creating our cover- to hide from the fact that we’re sad.
You know life’s not easy in this small world today
We have to see things from so many ways:
We’re seeing and knowing more than all those before,
Aware in depression of VIOLENCE-HATE-WAR!
You feel really bad when you see things that way-
A feeling of anger- that someone must pay!
But the price becomes yours- as you lead from the front
To consume and possess what you’ve been taught to want.
Distracted; you rage at the things in your face
Frustrated; cant change things- you feel a disgrace.
All those around you feel the force of your wrath
The anger misguided- you’ve strayed from the path.
But somewhere inside is a power: I know
You feel something ‘free’ and autonomy grows
You realise the strength that you had from the start
That it’s only yourself that kept it apart
Blaming no more and with no need to judge
You won’t be afraid and your stance will not budge.
You won’t seek approval for the way that you feel
You won’t be ashamed of what you say’s real
You’ll sing like a bluebird released from its cage
The truth in your free heart will temper your rage.
You know it- you grow it- the sowing of seed
That teaches- not preaches- the folly of need
You know it- you grow it- the love in your soul
That spreads unto others to their journeys goal
We travel life together- enemy and friend
Create and destroy ‘til our journeys end
But when we all die and return to the earth
It’s those that we cared for that will cherish our worth.

you say you love me
but not the way i want
now i am longing
for what i havent got
it suddenly just hit me
i can never have you
i'll go through life wondering
how much we'll never do
you'll be in love but not with me
i'll try to have feelings for others
you'll go on happily
as i become someone who never bothers
to care for anyone else
because i love only you
though you'd die for someone else
i've dreamt you'd live only for i
but you'll have someone you actually want
i would rather die
than not to have what i havent got

In the hour of my painful pleasure
When frustration juxtaposed my hands
Even when I trudge through the street
Through the rabbles and itching of the night
When the house plates cry and weep
For the moment of pressurizing
Yet, mine heart ponder in thought when I lie within my bed
Within my bed of discomforted
Buried in mood and scotched in head
When thou feeble and senile and healthy smile truncated
When famine gripped my stomach
Hard word coarsen my lips
Let dark cloud give way to light
And blue skies glimpsed by
Smiles aglow and breathe a refresher
My flowers bloom again and future unfolds grasses are evergreen
And sun is raising high for you
Just for you to smile

And suddenly she is so beautiful
And suddenly my world shifts
What would I be willing to do?
Not that. Not for that
And to think the world is that despicable
To have to get on my knees for love
And suddenly, so many hidden meanings
Bursting forth
As so many things do…
And how does it feel?
How do you feel.
You feel it now, the guilt
And this is why you couldn’t gain help from me
You know what she is
And you know what you are
Together, what will you become?
As I struggle through these times alone
With only my beliefs, so often wavering
You will make it through
But when I move on, used to the torment and tempest
Your fragile shallow leaves will be torn from you
And the girl who loved you
Will have seen.

Loud yet distant,
it penetrates the silence,
and the heavy dark.
the moon's shafts
of reflected light,
out glow the yellow contenders,
electricity has pitted against her.

The short
sharp,
gutteral shout,
exploding out
into a confined space by the sill.

A second and then gone again...

The darkness alone seems constant
in this wakeful world of night,
though in a few hours it will be gone.

The sun will rise again
and spoil the silence with the day.

The heavy sky,
burdened with its dark
pigment from distant space,
with its usual glitter
obscured by the great white ball,
that monthly likes to pay her visit.

Sometimes she is big,
brazen.
Though at mid-month
she is always comfortable
to bear her all
to the sleazy streets.

She is better than them all-
they pay her nothing,
yet owe her everything.

Often in the month,
she performs a strange striptease,
showing herself part by part,
ready for her grand unfurling.

Yet after the peep show is done,
as though unaware of protocol,
she slowly begins to cover herself up.
A temptation,
a flirt,
a cock-tease to her rapt audience
who will stay for the performance
to begin again
as it surely will.

Until then they shall have to make do
with the soft core porn of the stars,
attractive,
yet not satisfying their desires.

The dirty,
filthy,
manipulated garish of the city streetlamps,
near and easy
to guide their restless way,
and aluminate those sleazy streets
as they run through
natures world.

There it is again,
that low gutteral bark,
in the midst of the cars chugging motors
and the banging of cab doors,
a natural noise rings out,
a repetition of that plaintative bark.
A single natural cry:
'Hey!'

Wow, you did ti again, lied, and its hard to pretend. That im not mad, lets just resume being friends. Your just sutck in your habits and somehow im not surprised I want to scream.I want to cry. I want you to vanish with a goodbye. Forever without you haunting me again. Kept in my mind formt he first day I met you. Lingering moments. Estatic touches. Playful jokes. What happened? Ding, Ding, the bird comes. " Here's your flood and your pain, now go shout to the wind Rain, Rain drown me. Adisguise, no one can see a sad face in the rain. Dont tell emt hat you love me, dont tell me that you care. STOP. just breathe in and tell me the reality. It's useless. Your still hiding form the truth, your just a liar. That part is true. So just go back far away to a different place and when you come to visit, put on a happy face. Tell me the truth. I'll wait and wait Just tell the truth, that's all I want Cant you see that?

i know i dont show it
but when i see your smile
it makes my world amazing

when i hear your laugh
makes me want to jump for joy
but the thing is
i feel like i am becoming obsessive

i dont want to because
i would lose you
forgive me for what i have done

let me know if i am going to far

i just love you with all my heart

I go to bed
Dream a dreamless sleep
And wait for a call on a phone that never rings.

I cry a bit
Beat my emotions down
And hope that one day maybe things will change.

Friends help
But I tone 'em out
And I continue to hate myself for being so weak.

Day goes on
I see you there
And wish I could be there with you all over again.

I go to bed
Dream a dreamless sleep
And wait for a call on a phone that never rings.

against my biological will, i see.
around my self a great perplexing marquee.
an aperature to paramount divinity.

all human emotions completely abeyant
alone remaining; subconcious perspective
things unspoken are eternally present
I have become of the spiritual collective.

Torn from this physically bound plane,
yet still attestant to my bodies pain
Everything there is concealed by this domain.

From here all questions are explained,
For they've always been purely exposed,
But by our minds obstruction; chained,
By a greater fabrication was it composed.

©2007 Ben Heintz

You ruined my life
your probably going to ruin others
So many tears Ive shed thinking about that day when you ruined me and took it all away
Ive tried to forget and once I do
You haunt me in my dreams
All i do is worry now thinking you might come back
I cant go a day knowing that I will be proud to be a virgin
You took that away
Everyday I cry wishing I would die
Then not having a fear of you returning
I was so young and innocent
Still dreaming if good things
Then you came charging into my life
I'm sure you didn't think about what would happen to me once you were through
You did it for your own pleasure
Probably not taking time to think about what you were doing
But I know now that the world is not a perfect place
Some of these people make it a living hell
While allot of people have fun during life thinking no harm will come there way
But not I never will I look at myself in the mirror the same way
Knowing if i didn't go outside that day my life would be OK
Then maybe I would able to sleep all night
But now thats never going to happen
Theres nothing I can do but cry
So I hope you happy now
You Accomplished you goal
You have officially ruined my life

Is there any option?
Than to travel the news
He stayed all night solitudes
In the midst of the humbles
The poor man stood nudely
While your blanket lied all alone
Breath that air out now
With mysteries behind the lies
Who can forge out his luxury or dreams?
The sun is now hot and friendly to commoner
Who can afford only to bend double
For the bakes that make the day funny
And despised the hay that needed to dry
Why are you still affecting the dogma?
Can only search for others thought to exist
Are you still singing your brother's voices?
Let that air out my beloved!
So that you can walk without your foot
Can you Succumb the world;
To make the dent in life?

I keep finding scratches and notes

of things that I wrote

where ever I happened to be.

A napkin at hand . . .

the back of a fan . . .

You know, the kind

That you might find

on a park bench seat

in the hot summer heat.



Where ever the muse visited me

there was always a line,

a verse or a rhyme,

but I never could find

the notebook I'd saved

for just such a day.

The place where I meant

to keep these heaven sent

inspirations safe.

So now I discover

as I clear away clutter. . . . .

on the back of a letter to an old lover,

the inside of a match book cover,

an illegible line that I scratched

instead of a match . . .



love words that never were read

by anyone but me.

But just wait and see . . .

You'll probably be rich when I'm dead.

Like the lethal dusty cobra, darling, shed your skin.
Find shelter in its absence; let your mortal heart begin
To remove from your digestion, remove from your control,
All the millions of leeches who are feeding off your soul.

Writhing, bleeding, stretching, as you clench your insides tight,
Exhaustion and infection as your face turns ghostly white.
Repulsion is the image as you retch from the sensations;
Leave behind the past and complete your transformation.

The voice inside your head, scratching deep behind your eyes;
A voice thats harsh but plausible, a voice that you despise.
Its singing out in harmony, perfection in its note,
As it slowly starts to sink itself inside your bleeding throat.

Dont listen to its melody, sing back in loud, strong verse,
And tell it that its time for its existence to reverse,
The only thing thats cradling desires to be dead
Is that terrifying, oscillating, voice inside your head.

Of course you see its comfort, its offer thats consistent,
The offer of a life times pain, to be your true assistant.
Terror of rejection, and fright of your desire
Is drowning out the notes of your strong subconscious choir.

Like the lethal dusty cobra, venom stings your veins,
Eventually the leeches will be all that will remain.
Unless you let your voices sing, and be of sound assistance,
The venom will absorb your skin and bury your existence.

There a feeling in every human being
A feeling for peace, and understanding
That's the human dream. There a feeling
that follow every human being
Around. it's a feeling that's human life
so profound.


There a beat that every heart feels,
It taps in your chest, and say I'm for
real. There a thought that runs
though every mind that says
death is just and matter of time.


Just as sure as you were born,
the day is coming that you will
be gone. There is a reason for every
life it live between day and night
it hopes that morning bring new light.
that show wrong what is right .



There a truth deep inside. No matter
how you live it won't lie.
There is a road of right and wrong
You chose the road that you live on.

Make no mistake about who you are
Your soul comes from the love of stars
Your life was made to change wrong
to right. Who are you? You are
the love of the holy light.

To the girl in the mirror
Oh i miss the way you were
Won't you raise a glass with me
And we can talk about her

To that girl in the mirror
With eyes so big and blue
What happened to you baby
To do that thing to you?

To that girl in the mirror
Staring right back at me
I don't even know you
Whoever could you be?

To that girl in the mirror
Whoes raising up her glass
Whoes turned out the houselights
To drown it in the dark

To that girl in the mirror with skin so red so sore
Why the bruises on your cheek princess?
When did you become a whore?

To that girl in the mirror whoes laughing back at me
And i'll laugh with her too
Becuase I'll kill myself before
I ever turn out like you

You got your deuce deuce
Your pants hanging from your knees
You got your bling! bling! dental plan
I got my experiential release

You got your hoe to slap
You gotta sell those trees
I got my Doc Martins
Riding up to my knees

I just want to cut this short
Because I might just be misunderstood
I've got the razor's edge within
exposing every hidden decaying orifice, just like it should

I open to expose you
I dilate your insides
Put it where it's suppose to be
Come on, Open up wide

***I know this is weird...
Maybe they'll post it for Halloween

So uncomparable with the rest
Till her news brought the angels unrest
How can I possibly describe her majesty
To those subtle eyes of your heart
For you to ponder and say,
She is the Crest of the Best

Her elegance is the harmonious wedding of mystery and beauty
Is this a dream or a figment of my imagination
This, I always ask, to quench the fire of this enthralling mystery
No matter how hard I try, I get more entangled in this trap of fantasy
I sighed in sweet retreat,"I will resign and drink from the cup of destiny"
Folks, look at how she flutes and sing along her melody
Let us all feast on her beauty till stupor and whisper,
She is the Crest of the Best

I admire the pride of the peacock
The calmness of the dove
The elegance of the deer
The cheerfulness of the dolphin
The suppleness of the wool
The purity of the snow
The soothing sensation of the monsoon
But the queen of my heart has unparalled beauty
The paragon of enchantment is incomparable to all these
That is why I utter in high spirits,
She is the crest of the best

It all started with a simple greet and smile
It all begun with a simple text from my heart
I felt and realized I’m falling for someone who’s around
Though I’m not yet prepared again to be hurt.

I couldn’t visualize myself longing for him
I couldn’t ask and convince myself to stop from wanting him
I couldn’t desist myself to stop falling for him
‘Cause I know for all this time, my heart needs him.

How I wish he really likes me like what he told me before
How I wish his feelings and mine are mutual and incomparable
I know he accepted my abstruse mien and flaws
I hope our friendship would grow more.

im a little lost child
lost in this world
with no where to go or stay
every last hope and memories
fade
cause today was the day that my mother ran away
my father beats me
...i have no say
this big world and no where for me to stay
why is that everything seems to happen to me
no one else just me
tears run down my cheeks
as my father says get outta the house
or be afraid
i take my last breath
and follow my mothers footsteps
step by step
im coming...

your eyes
oceans showered in gold
melodies never growing old
a glance from them now see me unfold

your smile
the sun for my heart
a gleaming work of art
a smile of my own can't help but to start

you
boy, you put me in a daze
igniting my insides in some unyielding blaze
on my lips dances that 3 word phrase

I want to have all of your heart
Oh yes I do
And I promise to hold it close to me
And keep it true for you

Would you like to have any of my heart all
Would you promise to hold it close to you
And never let it fall
To the ground and to the dirt

And I want all your heart because you seem to actually care
You seem like someone I could love

And I want to keep you for myself
Because I never want to loose you

And I pray that you feel the same
And that you understand
my heart is not a game
So please don't play with it

You turned to me and asked, did I really love you true,
would I love you always or one day make you blue?
I must confess your questions caught me by surprise,
so I held your hands, then gazed into your eyes.

My love for you is stronger than mighty Samson's arms
and so deep I could not bear to ever see you harmed.
The sight of you elates me on those days I wake up sad
and when I feel your touch, it's the best l ever had.

I will love you longer than the seas caress their shores
and beyond the day when the sun can rise no more.
Past the day eternity will have to take it's final breath,
my soul will always love you, even after death.

You are the single flower in this garden called my heart,
I planted you there in love and never will you part.
So if you ever start to wonder if I really love you true,
remember my love's forever as long as you are you.